Why The Devil Rays Columnists Suck: Marc Lancaster

Marc Lancaster gets paid to write this shit? Makes us wonder why we went to college and grad school. Instead of applying to McDonalds when we were 15, we should have sent a resume to the Tampa Tribune.

In his latest blog entry, Marc Lancaster shows us exactly how desperate he is to find an interesting topic to write about the Devil Rays or he gets a kick out of showing somebody a pile of shit and telling them it’s gold.

The latest entry on Curt Schilling’s blog details his votes in the MLB Players Choice Awards.

Keeping in mind that players aren’t allowed to vote for anyone on their team, which in this case is particularly applicable to rookie of the year, Schilling tabbed Delmon Young as the top rookie and Carlos Pena for comeback player of the year while also voting for Pena as the top first baseman. Carl Crawford also gets a mention in sort of the “others receiving votes” category among outfielders.

I still have a very difficult time picturing Schill in a blue & sunburst Rays uni next year, but there you go.

We shouldn’t have to waste time pointing out how idiotic it is to go from “Carlos Pena for comeback player of the year” to “Curt Schilling wants to pitch for the Devil Rays”, but let’s do it anyway for shits and giggles.

1. Yes, he picked Pena for CPOY and top firstbaseman. What were his other choices? and let’s look at what Schil said about Pena…”Another accolade for an outstanding season by an outstanding person”. That’s right. Pena was with the Red Sox last year and even though he only spent the Spring a small regular season stint with the Sox, Schilling obviously got to know him well enough that there appears to be a personal bias towards a friend.
2. As Lancaster pointed out, Schill can’t vote for teammates. Everybody that knows baseballs are white with red stitches knows that the two top candidates for rookie of the year are Dustin Pedroia and Delmon Young. And what “praise” does Schill bestow upon Delmon and the Rays in this category?…”He’s going to drive in close to 100 runs and hit close to 300, not sure there are many guys outside of Dustin who can challenge that. Dustin, imo with a lot of obvious bias, deserves to win it. He’s had a phenomenal season on both sides of the ball”. That’s right, he praises Pedroia.
3. Schilling also names Alex Rodriguez for player of the year and top third baseman, along with Jorge Posada for top catcher. Is that Schilling’s way of expressing “love for the Yankees”? Or is he indicating he wants to pitch for the Yankees in 2008? And what is more likely. Schilling in a Red Sox or Yankees uniform in 2008 or Schilling a Rays uni? If you have to even spend more than 1 katrillion millionth of a second thinking about it, you need to need to reevaluate whether or not you should be a baseball fan.

More love from Schilling [TBO]
One celebration down, 4 to go. [38 pitches]

Why The Devil Rays Columnists Suck: Marc Lancaster

In case you missed the 9th inning of last night’s game…and we can’t understand why you wouldn’t be tuned in to the 9th inning of a late August 12-2 loss to Oakland…there were some minor fireworks. It happens. Last night, Juan Salas came in to pitch the 9th and immediately hit the first batter in middle of the back with his first pitch. In the bottom half of the inning, A’s reliever, Santiago Casilla’s first pitch was behind Brendan Harrris. Casilla was immediately ejected.

The reason we bring this to your attention is the exaggerated reporting by Devil Rays writers for the Tampa Bay Tribune and The St. Pete Times.

[From Marc Lancaster of the Tribune] Casilla’s first pitch bored straight toward Brendan Harris’ head, and he ducked out of the way just in time for it to whiz behind his neck.

[From Marc Topkin of the Times] A’s reliever Santiago Casilla was ejected for throwing at Brendan Harris’ head.

Wow! Sounds like Brendan Harris narrowly escaped danger right? Well, here is a screen capture from the pitch that supposedly almost killed Harris.

We are going to give Marc Topkin a pass because Casilla may have actually been aiming at Harris’ head, even though there was a better chance of him hitting somebody in the third base dugout. But did Marc Lancaster even watch the game that he wrote about?

Of beanballs and meetings [TBO]
A loss to hang their heads over [tampabay.com]

[THE HANGOVER] We Like The Feel Of A Hammer On Our Heads

Yankees 21, Devil Rays 4.
Why do we keep hitting ourselves in the head with a hammer? Because when we stop, it will feel so good.

With one out in the bottom of the 7th inning of the second game of the double header on Saturday night, Hideki Matsui came to the plate with 2 runners on base and hit a three-run home run off of Brian Stokes. The home run made the score 17-5 and were the 3rd, 4th and 5th runs to score off of Stokes.

At this point, pitching coach Jim Hickey made a visit to the mound. We are fairly sure that we were the only Devil Rays fans that were still tuned into the game at this point. However, if there were other masochists out there they were probably wondering aloud as we were “What in the hell does a pitching coach say to a pitcher in a situation like this?” We imagine the conversation went something like this…

Coach Hickey: How are you feeling?
Brian Stokes: Where is Papa Joe (Maddon)?
Coach Hickey: He is admiring how well you are throwing. He says that you are real close and if your pitches were just in a different spot, you would be doing great.
Brian Stokes: Really? Do you think so?
Coach Hickey: No. Actually, you are really stinking up the joint. Why don’t you get your head out of your ass and get some guys out.
Brian Stokes: I don’t want to be out here anymore.
Coach Hickey: You know this is the second game of a double-header and we only have 9 pitchers in the bullpen this weekend. So, sorry kid. You gotta stay out here.
Brian Stokes: please tell Papa Joe to come out here and take me out. These fans are really mean.
Coach Hickey: Shut up and get your act together.
Brian Stokes: But this isn’t fair. It’s 17-5. Can’t somebody else pitch now?
Coach Hickey: Nope.
Brian Stokes: *fighting back tears*
Coach Hickey: C’mon. You are our “down 12-5 guy”. That’s an important role. It could be worse. You could be our “down 18-3 guy”. That’s Scott Dohmann’s job.
Brian Stokes: I guess that is kinda important.
Coach Hickey: atta boy. go get ’em *Hickey leaves the mound*

DEVIL RAYS WEBTOPIA…

• With Leather summed up this weekend best with the following headline: “THE DEVIL RAYS ARE NOT GOOD.” [With Leather]

It was like watching 55,000 people cheer a snuff film. Troubling. Snuff films should only be enjoyed quietly, and in the privacy of a locked room.

• Marc Lancaster goes through the numbers from the weekend series. He probably broke his abacus. [Rays Report]
• It is hard to imagine than things can get any worse than this, so let’s hope this is the bottom of the barrel. [Rays Talk]
• Carl Crawford injured his foot in the first game on Saturday, but is not expected to miss much time. [TampaBay.com]
• Marc Lancaster thinks the Rays need bullpen help. Thank you Captain Fucking Obvious. In other news, Marc Lancaster reports that water is wet. [TBO]
• We are not sure why Bill Chastain found this move surprising but Jason Hammel was sent down to Durham to become a starter again. Andrew Friedman and Joe Maddon made it clear when Hammel was first called up that the team still viewed him as a starter in the long term. [Devil Rays]
• But…Jay Witasick is likely headed to the DL and Jason Hammel may be needed to take Witasick’s spot on the roster. [TBO]
• Tom Jones sits down for a one-on-one with Akinori Iwamura. [TampaBay.com]

[THE HANGOVER] In The End, Even Old Yeller Had To Be Shot

Yankees 7, Devil Rays 6.
The Devil Rays lost three of four games to the Yankees, but for the first time in almost a month, the Rays were competitive. The starting pitching was better, but they still don’t put in enough time on the mound. And the bullpen is…well the bullpen is what it is. In the four games, the bullpen threw 11.2 innings and gave up 10 hits, 7 walks and 8 runs. The key number is 11.2, as Andy Sonnanstine was the only starting pitcher to work into the 7th inning. To expect any bullpen, especially the Devil Rays, who are missing their only two decent relievers (Al Reyes and Juan Salas), to hold the Yankees lineup scoreless for three innings is asking too much.

Manager Joe Maddon was up to his usual Pollyannaisms this weekend.

[After Sunday’s loss] We played a hard-fought game and they got it in the end and we didn’t…But our day will come. [tampabay.com]

[After Saturday’s loss] I’m looking at the effort. I’m looking at us doing the little things better. Good pitching tonight from our perspective. [devilrays.com]

For the record we do not have a problem with maintaining a positive attitude in the face of yet another last place season. Our problem is that as fans, we want the players and the coaches to be held accountable. When all we ever hear from Joe Maddon is how he sees so many “good things” it gives the appearance that he doesn’t see the “bad things” and that losing is an acceptable outcome. Nobody is expecting a winning ball club in 2007, but we would like to see signs that this team can be a winning ball club soon. Despite losing 3 of 4 to the Yankees, the competitiveness of the team was better, but in the end they still lost 3 of 4.

We envision little Joey Maddon as one of those children whose mother would always turn a movie off before the sad ending. Unfortunately we have yet to learn to turn the TV off before the 7th inning.

DEVIL RAYS WEBTOPIA…

• Saturday night and Sunday afternoon’s games were the 6th and 7th sellouts in Devil Rays history. Four of the previous five sellouts were on opening day. The only other non-opening day sellout was also against the Yankees on July 19, 2004. [tampabay.com]
• On Friday night, Scott Kazmir’s pitch count was once again too high forcing him from the game before the 7th inning. Still, Kid K seemed to have regained some of his confidence that has been lost most of the year. [tbo.com]

“I’ve been through a tough stretch where I’m trying to figure out what’s going on,” he said. “I’m switching sides of the rubber and changing my mechanics a little bit, but now I’m just going back to what I did last year and the year before. I’m just going to attack the strike zone and not worry about how I get the ball to where I want it, but just toe it up and throw it there.”

• Jonny Gomes brought a “good luck rooster” to the clubhouse before Friday night’s win. [DevilRays.com]

After Friday night’s win, Rays manager Joe Maddon sounded like he was ready to ride the rooster: “The rooster is a permanent part of the environment now.”

• James Shields leads Major League Baseball with 7.14 innings pitched per start. At the other end of the spectrum, Edwin Jackson averages the second fewest innings pitched per start (4.64). [Roto Authority]
• Carl Crawford has had an up-and-down season and thinks taking more walks will be the key to finding consistency. [DevilRays.com]
• Carl Crawford likes his women with a good left jab. [St. Pete Times]
• Marc Lancaster discusses several players that could be traded. [TBO]
• So far, signing bonuses for players from this year’s amateur draft are down approximately 10% from last year. Major League Baseball has made a concerted effort to curb signing bonuses. With a very early deadline for signing draft picks (August 15), it will interesting to see if more players will decide to re-enter the draft in 2008 and whether this will have an effect on whether the Devil Rays can sign David Price. [Sports Agent Blog]
• The Devil Rays recent 11-game losing streak is a rare achievement. Since the Devil Rays inaugural season in 1998, only 17 major league teams have experienced a 10-game losing streak. The New York Yankees have not lost 10 in a row since 1913. [SFGate.com]

The Hangover: BJ Upton Is Back In The Lineup Tonight

Yankees 7, Devil Rays 3.
Sorry. Just Webtopia today. Feel free to throw poop at us in the comments.

DEVIL RAYS WEBTOPIA…

• BJ Upton will be in the lineup tonight after missing 29 games. [TampaBay.com]
• Marc Lancaster has what he considers the biggest story lines of the second half for the Devil Rays. To which we will add Will Joe Maddon realize that the team is not “moving in the right direction”? [tbo.com]
• Al Reyes threw a bullpen session and it looks like he will rejoin the team on Wednesday when he is eligible to come off the DL. [tbo.com]
• Let’s see. Should the Devil Rays trade Carl Crawford to the Angels for Ervin Santana (5-10, 5.97), Reggie Willits (.312/.408/.368) and some no-name average AA relief pitcher? We know…We know…we are laughing also. Listen people. These trades may work in fantasy baseball, but just because you want to trade away an underachieving pitcher for a superstar, doesn’t mean it is going to happen by just adding in more and more mediocre players to try and “even out the numbers”. Come back to us when you want to include Francisco Rodriguez with Santana. [Halo’s Heaven]
• Tampa Bay Sports Fanatic has a list of changes that the Rays need to make in the second half. [Tampa Bay Sports Fanatic]
• Chris Rahill has his midseason progress report for the Devil Rays. It’s like reading an obituary. [The Sports Network]
• Speaking of midseason progress reports, we wrote one for Sports Projections. It is a little longer than what we usually post on this site, but it is written for the typical non-Devil Rays fan. If you don’t have the time, we will sum it up in two sentences from the article…

We knew the bullpen was going to be a problem before the season began. It was like taking a perfectly good team and smearing it with feces.

• This is just dumb, dumb, dumb, and reading the article took 2 minutes from my life that I will never get back. [TV Squad]

The Hangover: Starring Joe Maddon As The Black Knight

Red Sox 15, Devil Rays 4.

[They fight until Arthur cuts off Black Knight’s left arm]
King Arthur: Now, stand aside, worthy adversary!
Black Knight: ‘Tis but a scratch!
King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm’s off!
Black Knight: No, it isn’t!
King Arthur: Well, what’s that then?
King Arthur: I’ve had worse.
King Arthur: You liar!
Black Knight: Come on, you pansy!
King Arthur: [after Arthur’s cut off both of the Black Knight’s arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You’ve got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: *Look*!
Black Knight: It’s just a flesh wound.
[the Black Knight continues to threaten Arthur despite getting both his arms and one of his legs cut off]
Black Knight: Right, I’ll do you for that!
King Arthur: You’ll what?
Black Knight: Come here!
King Arthur: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
Black Knight: I’m invincible!
King Arthur: …You’re a loony.

We’re in one of those moments that is not good and there is no way to get around that. But while we are having this difficult moment, I’m looking to see where we are improving, because this is going to go away. And we’re going to be fine and we’re going to turn this around – Joe Maddon

We have long supported Joe Maddon here at RI, even if we have taken him behind the woodshed once or twice. Our feeling has always been that the team is not much worse than can be expected. For most of the first half, three of the Rays starting pitchers were among the worst in baseball. As we near the all-star break, with Al Reyes on the DL, the bullpen consists of five or six guys that would not even make any other team’s 25-man roster. It’s like taking a perfectly good team and smearing it with feces. With an arsenal like that, what could we possibly expect from a second-year manager? There isn’t a manager in baseball that could contend with this squad.

We believe in the baseball axiom that managers receive too much credit when the team is doing well and too much blame when the team is struggling. But now we are beginning to feel the same frustration of many in the Devil Rays Universe.

We understand the need to remain positive when times are bad. It can help when those that you report to, still believe in your abilities even when all the numbers suggest otherwise. But it is also OK to let them know every once and a while that you are disappointed in them. We are not asking Papa Joe to rip the team in the press. We are not asking Papa Joe to lay blame at certain players feet or even at his own. But when a team is in the midst of an 11-game losing streak…

STOP WAXING POETIC ABOUT HOW THINGS ARE FINE. WE ARE SICK OF IT.

All we need, as fans, is to know that this is just as painful for Joe Maddon and the 25 guys that put on the uniform. If it is not, than GET THE HELL OUT, and let Stuart Sternberg find somebody that will feel our pain.

I’m not going to grab any sharp objects…I’m not going to do any of that. This too shall pass – Joe Maddon

Don’t worry about grabbing “sharp objects” Joe. Rays fans everywhere already have a firm grip on them and we are beginning to wonder, that if like the Black Knight, you are a “loony”.

DEVIL RAYS WEBTOPIA…

• We are big fans of With Leather. And while many try (often too hard) to come up with witty and catchy headlines, With Leather may have summed up the 2007 Devil Rays best with THIS HEADLINE. Excuse us, while we bang our heads on the desk.
  
• Dioner Navarro was knocked unconscious after a collision with Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett. He was taken to a local hospital for x-rays on his jaw.
• If the Devil Rays ever get a save opportunity while Al Reyes is on the DL, it will likely go to Gary Glover.
• White Sox GM Kenny Williams confirmed rumors that the Devil Rays inquired about free agent-to-be Mark Buerhle. The reason that the Rays would be interested is that they would receive two compensatory draft picks at the end of the first round in next year’s draft when Buerhle signs with another club in the off-season. If the Rays can convince the White Sox to take som
  ething less valuable than those two picks, the Rays would make the deal. Not gonna happen.
• Kevin Gengler believes that both Dioner Navarro and Joe Maddon are not the long-term answers for the Devil Rays. We still believe in Navarro but our thoughts on Maddon have gone from support to uncertain. However, there is one thing we do agree with…

Writing cohrerently [sic] during an 11-game losing streak is tough.

• Jordi at The Serious Tip takes a look at the pattern of All-Star games and notes that in the next 7 years, Tampa Bay and Miami could become the only major league cities not to host an all-star game since 1977. With the Marlins likely to be elsewhere in the next 5-10 years and the Tropicana Field bias, there is little chance of that trend changing before the Rays move to a new ballpark.
• James Shields threw just 15 fastballs his last time out and has only given up one walk in his previous 32.2 innings. Still, his 19 home runs allowed is second in the AL. The home runs are not that alarming. But early in the year, they were mostly of the solo variety. He needs to limit the dingers when men are on base.
• ArmchairGM lists the Devil Rays as “sellers” and believe that the Rays will move Carl Crawford before the trading deadline.
• Marc Lancaster has sold out and is now incorporating musical lyrics, a practice we hope you never see here. An occasional “Anchorman” quote? Sure, but never lyrics.

Men are on base. It’s so hot…Shawn Camp was a baaaaaad choice

The Hangover: Kyle Farnsworth To Close In 2008?

Devil Rays 5, Toronto 3.
We’re done trying to figure out this team. They do this all the time. Tuesday’s loss was the sort that can kill a team. It was the sort of game that can lead to a 6-game losing streak and a 7-28 stretch, and all of the sudden the season is over, and next thing you know the Rays have the #1 pick again next year. The Rays have had a few of these losses this season. And every time the team has bounced back big. On Tuesday night after that last runner stepped on home plate, did anybody think there was a chance in Hades that the Rays would win the series? Nobody would have been dumb enough to make that bet.

But there is a pattern here…

• Apr. 22. James Shields strikes out 12 and allows only 2 hits and 1 walk in 8 innings. Brian Stokes gives up a 3-run home run in the 9th and the Rays lose 6-4 to the Indians.
• May 4. Brian Stokes gives up a 3-run home run in the 9th inning of a 2-2 game. Rays lose 5-2 to the A’s.
• June 5. Rays take a 11-6 lead into the 9th against the Jays. Four relief pitchers combine to walk 64 batters and can only record one out. Rays lose 12-11.

In each case, the Rays rebounded to win the next day. And on two of those occasions, the Rays won the next two games. So what was the common denominator in the three games? In each case, Al Reyes was not available to pitch.

Reyes will not be with the Devil Rays in August and September and that scares the hell out of us. Might be a good time to plan that trip to Fiji.

Speaking of which. For those of you that actually read our “AL East Roundup” in the past, know that we are no fans of Kyle Farnsworth. He throws real hard, but his fastball is straight as an arrow and he does not have a good complimentary pitch. The Yankees have finally soured on Farnsworth and will probably do anything they can to get him off the team. He has one more season on his contract and is set to earn $5.5 million in 2008. As long as the Yankees stay within ear shot of the wild card, they will look to improve their pen down the stretch. Does a Farnsworth-Reyes trade make sense? Let’s say the Yankees are willing to pay $4 million of Farnsworth’s contract for the rest of 2007 and 2008 and throw in a AA pitching prospect?

Reyes is going no matter what. The Rays do not have a closer for 2008. Any potential closer on the market will only be slightly better than Farnsworth and will cost a lot more. Don’t get us wrong here. There will be games next season when we would burn Farnsworth in effigy. We will curse his name. But the Rays may also catch lightning in a bottle. Farnsworth can be a good closer and getting him out of the glaring lights of New York could be good for him…Just a thought.

DEVIL RAYS WEBTOPIA…

• Al Reyes is now comfortable working three straight games. He believes he is close to being able to work four straight, depending on pitch counts.
• We are a little confused this morning. Marc Lancaster of the Tampa Tribune gives us this title yesterday afternoon: “Rays Pick Price; How Much Will He Cost?” And then the first paragraph of the story is this:

Now that the Devil Rays have eliminated the suspense and chosen Vanderbilt LHP David Price with the first overall pick in the draft, two questions loom: How quickly can Price be signed? And, how soon will be be in the majors?

So…Is that two questions or three? Math was never our thing, but we did learn to count. Mr. Lancaster does address the question from the title, stating that the Rays are willing to sign Price in the $3-3.5 million range. He also addresses the first question from the first paragraph by stating that the team has until August 15 to get Price signed. But for some reason Mr. Lancaster never addresses the third question. So was the third question not a question at all? Or was the first question not a question even thought he answered? Our heads hurt.

• These two wins are the first time the Rays have won two straight road games since June of last year.
• 13 more strike outs last night and the Rays are now second in the majors with 462. Tonight’s opponent, the Marlins lead the majors with 516. Of course they have the advantage of having their pitchers hit 2-3 times a game. What is the common factor between these two teams? They are the two youngest teams in baseball. Ahhh. Growing pains.
• Elijah Dukes is mired in an 0-21 stretch.
• Akinori Iwamura will be in the lineup tonight against the Marlins. He will return to the leadoff spot.